All about restraining orders
As we head into the holiday season, many people reflect on the past year. We make New Years resolutions, we spend time with our families and loved ones, and we end up locked up indoors a lot because of the weather.
Whether you are a small business owner who depends on holiday season sales to keep the business afloat but are having issues with employees being harassed or goods stolen, a person trapped indoors with an abusive partner, or have a child being bullied at school, restraining orders are a powerful legal tool to break cycles of abuse.
Restraining orders are what made me want to become an attorney in the first place. When I was in college, a family member had to obtain a restraining order against an abusive partner, and I went with my family member to court as emotional support. I saw the inequity and power imbalance as the partner had an attorney and my family member did not. The judge treated the two parties differently and I became visibly upset and tried making objections, but of course I was not yet an attorney and had no real power to do so.
More recently, I am representing a client who had a family member harassing my client’s teenage daughter, leaving very threatening voicemails and sending text messages to scare her. My client—who is an excellent parent—wanted to seek a restraining order to protect her daughter. California law is not set up very well to protect minors who are experiencing abuse, and I learned some important lessons as the initial restraining order was denied for procedural reasons. This experience also caused me to think about my own experiences in middle school and high school, where I was viciously bullied by numerous different people. Had I known at that time about the possibility of obtaining restraining orders against my bullies, my life could have been significantly better.
For this reason, I am starting a one-person anti-bullying campaign. While I cannot directly represent minors under the age of 18, any parent who lives in San Francisco and has a child being bullied can come to me and I will help them for free to obtain a restraining order against their child’s bully. Schools have some level of built-in support, but if you’ve reached the point where you do not feel the school is adequately helping your child, please make an appointment with me. My services will be free and you will have to pay only for a court filing fee, if applicable.
It is well documented that domestic violence spikes between Thanksgiving and New Year’s, as well. If you are reading this and are in an abusive situation at home, please contact me in whatever way is safest for you. You can message me on Signal at +14157471102, email me at alex@alexlemberg.com, text or call me at (415) 921-9300, or come to my office at 4111 18th St., Suite 5, Mondays through Thursdays. If you are suffering abuse from a partner, ex-partner, or family member, please give yourself the gift of seeking help. I have been there and I know how challenging this can be.
Abuse can appear in many ways. Certainly, physical violence or threats of violence is abuse, as is sexual violence or coercion. But many types of abuse are less obvious: gaslighting, placing restrictions on physical movement or social opportunities, preventing contact with loved ones, manipulation, controlling of finances, pressuring you to use drugs or alcohol, or destroying your belongings. Abuse is hard-wired into American society in many different ways and is often spread through families. But there is hope, and if and when you get to a place where you need help, help is available.
Finally, businesses are suffering right now, too. We are in the midst of an economic recession caused by the COVID-19 pandemic, which has caused many people to have no income for almost two years and some of those people are resorting to criminal or violent acts. While I firmly believe that demonizing economically disadvantaged people is a non-starter, business owners deserve peace of mind if they are being targeted repeatedly by specific individuals. Businesses can obtain restraining orders, too, to protect their employees, their customers, and their neighbors.
During this holiday season, know that it is okay to put yourself first when we often have pressure to put others before us. I wish everyone reading this a warm and safe holiday season, for whatever holiday(s) you celebrate, whether it is Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, Christmas, New Year’s, a birthday (I see you, December and January babies), Fiesta de Nuestra Señora de Guadalupe, Festivus, Boxing Day, or no holidays at all.